Serial Abuse
It is unfortunately well known that there is a type of abuser who goes from one victim to the next. This describes childhood sex abuse (pedophilia), serial rapists, sex-trafficking, and workplace sexual harassment.
While the motivation for the abuse also stems from a combination sex and power, there is a difference between this and intimate partner violence (IPV) or domestic violence (DV). In contrast to the almost unseverable dis-ordered attachment in Intimate Partner Violence, there is a pattern in which victims are groomed or entrapped with premeditation and focus, abused, and then discarded as new victims are obtained. I have chosen to term this serial abuse. Because of somewhat different dynamics, in this discussion I will refer to the abused as victims, and the abusers as predators, which is particularly apt as the accruing new victims is always a large part of their focus. In recognizing serial abuse there are unique obstacles:
- Serial abuse is driven both by sexual interest (deviant or not) and power and control.
- Predators often develop a double-life. The lives they live in public are exemplary and conspicuous in rectitude, while privately they cultivate abusive technique and proceed callously if not cruelly. Predators deliberately cultivate a positive reputation by being involved in organizations or situations such as foster care, pre-schools, juvenile detention, struggling parents, or anti-poverty programs. Common professions are ministers and priests, teachers, coaches, and politicians. Contrary to general belief, public behavior does not predict private behavior
- Predators are often driven, and so they develop a false aura of being special through accomplishment or status. Examples are media personalities, politicians, and even activists. When rumors emerge, they are not pursued because 1) many people want to ride the coattails, 2) many are afraid because these predators are energetic and don't 'drop' anything, and 3) there is somehow a belief that special rules should apply to 'special people.' However, contrary to what our culture believes, being driven, while it can be pivotal in 'getting ahead,' is not a sign of specialness.
- Predators behave monstrously but do not look like monsters. They are able to and inclined to act 'normally' in most situations. Disclosures of abuse are often dismissed because authorities do not see the type of unhideable deviancy that they assume would accompany abusive tendencies. What is not understood is that niceness is a choice not a character trait. Predators make different choices in public than in private.
- Grooming becomes a well-practiced art through repetition. So does deception and lying. The predator is always moving serially to new victims, which means that he is indeed a 'professional among amateurs.'
- Victims are generally not believed, for many reasons including being children, being women, being lower social status, being traumatized, being trafficked, being addicted, and coming from a marginalized groups. Predators target victims that will not be believed.
- There is no durable attachment to the victim that holds the predator. Usually at the point that secrecy is becoming unmanageable, the victim is discarded. Hence the abuse is serial. Suspicions may be raised, but not to the point that definite action is taken. Victims may easily number in the hundreds, with the cumulative harm being immense, but because of the way it is distributed, it does not set out a red flag to the undiscerning.
- Especially with adult or teen victims, predators often use schock and surprise (such as suddenly disrobing or exposing genitals) to stun, freeze and silence victims, whose partial lack of fending off behavior is sometimes malignantly construed as implied consent. Reference the tactics of Harvey Weistein and Louis CK among many others. Assaults are also common during photo ops, because it is a strong social norm not to react once posed.
- Each victim believes they are the only one, so out of guilt and shame, they remain silent. The victim's belieg that he or she is the only one put in motion the belief that he or she then must have done something different to cause the abuse. The silence of previous victims maintains the isolation of future victims